I seem to be having a locational identity crisis right now, where I can’t decide if I love or hate the city of Seattle. It’s been more than five years since this city has been the place where I pick up my mail and call home. As I was purging things in my apartment, I found a printed email (yes, I used to print emails)—a communication between myself and my mentor/college professor. It was an email to him as I graduated and moved to Seattle. I wrote “I am moving to Seattle and will take over this city.” At the time, I meant the art and design world. At that time, Seattle was a magical city to me—a city in which I remembered visiting weekly to see family members as a child. I thought to myself, “there are so many people in this city to meet.” I absolutely loved Seattle when I moved here. I lived in Upper Queen Anne in my own apartment, with a great view of the water.

I don’t love Seattle anymore.

Let’s go back about twenty-three years when I was a little kid to explain the type of person I am. My mother always shares the story about going to Montreal and losing me there. It turned out I went off on my own (being about 3-4 years old) to go socialize and talk to strangers. I apparently befriended these kids my age. Flash forward to 2005 where I got lost from my friends in Siena, Italy. I wondered off with some Italians and had dinner at their place. They welcomed me as if I was an old friend. I hate the term “stranger.”

For me, my inspiration and energy comes from my dearest friends whom I’ve known for the longest time, but on the flip side, people I’ve never met before. After five years here in Seattle, I’ve learned it’s very hard to meet people here, in a platonic or romantic setting. I’m not talking about networking, happy hour and tweetups, but sitting down and having real conversations as close friends. There is a huge difference between talking and having a conversation. When you talk, listening is optional.

Perhaps I’m still high off my trips to San Francisco and New York City; two places where strangers become friends because they don’t know anyone else. I can’t help but think of the friendship I developed with Gabby from meeting her at a random coffee shop. Sometimes I feel in Seattle, if you go up and talk to someone you don’t know, they feel like their space is being invaded, or you have an agenda to get in their pants, rob them. The thought of “just having a conversation” never comes to mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I have made friends with Seattle natives. My best female friend Charisse was the first person I met in Seattle. I have become very close to her, her husband, family and friends. I’ve become so close with some of her friends that people often mistake me as a Seattle native who went to Seattle Prep.

Seattle is the city where I found myself, but I am definitely having a struggle if I belong here.

To make my 7th grade English teacher proud, I decided to make a like and dislike list. This is in no particular order, and how I feel now. Nonetheless, I’ll share it with you.

Seattle Like List

• Being next to the water and around green scenery everywhere. We seriously have the best oxygen in the country
• Innovation—I really like some of the things we are doing here as a collective city. Ex: I Can Has Cheezburger
• Local coffee shops
• Wifi everywhere
• Rent is relatively cheap compared to other major cities
• San Francisco is a 2-hour plane ride away
• Family
• No state income tax
• Being able to walk or drive to a grocery store at any time of the day without having to wait like 80 years in line
• It’s safe enough to not require Robocop
• Elliott Bay Bookstore

Seattle Disike List

• The pitiful public transportation that results in everyone driving, getting stuck in traffic and not being able to find a place to park. Don’t even talk about the lightrail. That thing should have been installed years ago and it goes somewhere people only go to once in a while. If you really wanted to get your money’s worth, it should have been built to go up to UW or the Eastside.
• Nobody here knows how to drive. They are too passive which causes car accidents. Seattle: the city where EVERYONE has the right-of-way
• People from Shoreline and Kent say they are from Seattle. Sorry, but if you have a different freaking mayor, you’re in a different city
• People are too afraid to offend rather than give you their true opinion
• The unnecessary protests that block traffic. Seriously, I’ve never been in a city where people protest about stuff not even related to the city.
• THERE IS NO F*CKING DAIRY QUEEN IN THE CITY
• The fact that people like me talk about moving and haven’t yet. (although I did mention that I’m having some confusion)
• No NBA team
• Seasonal sports fans. “Oh, the Seahawks are in the playoffs? Let me go buy a jersey. Who’s our quarterback?”
• Everything is a freaking tweetup! Can we just meet up with friends and talk or meet new friends without having to wear a name tag?
• A lot of people here talk about what they want to do and actually don’t do anything about it

This is just to name a few things. It’s definitely my own opinion, which may or may not be fair.

In conclusion, I have no clue how I feel about Seattle. At times I really love it, but other times, I feel it could be so much more and we could do so much more to put this city on the map. Even though the blog title says it, I DON’T hate Seattle, but I often stay up wondering if I’ve overstayed my welcome here.

How about you? What do you love and hate about Seattle? Help me find inspiration to love this city again.

Note: Here are a few cities that I love: Portland, San Francisco, New York City, Rome, Paris.